10. Opening performance by group of fire drill re-enactors
9. Panel discussion, "I'm Even Creepier Now"
8. The pre-dinner festival of passive-aggressive score settling
7. Former-cheerleaders vs. former-majorettes team mud wrestle
6. The "I Look Like My Grandmother But I'm Wearing This Tight Dress" Award
5. Long-distance toupee toss
4. The organizing committee jamboree of self-congratulation
3. Brain storming session: How can we make the 75th even more disturbing?
2. The "I Can't Believe She's With Him" Award Of Lifelong Jealousy
1. Announcement of overdue library books
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